Tagged By Sydney

Naked Tour Diary (Part 3)

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We’ve reached the end of our journey with Hobart band Naked and their buddy Alex Romano, with this, the final installment of his tour diary. I almost feel like I’ve been on tour with Naked this whole time, don’t you? Nah, cuz you’ve been at work still? You work Christmas retail/ hospo but you’ve been getting blind every night anyway (IT’S CHRISTMAS) and you see death’s approach clearer every day? Yeah, me too.

Ah well, get away from it all with these tales of urine, suggested bestiality, brushes with indie movie stardom, hangin with Whitney Houston’s Crypt ( <3 ) and Peak Tour.

Thanks Naked! Thanks Alex! See youse on the road again soon.

(Part 1 HERE Part 2 HERE)

Day 7 – Sydney is hot 2nite

By Alex Romano

I said the boys are back in town boys are back in town boys are back in towwwwwwwn. Thin Lizzy is rockin out in the Juicy Van I’m sure of it! The boys are in the harbor city, and ready to rock out. I’ve been contemplating snorting cocaine all day in preparation to rock out!

8:15 pm

The Marly Bar is just how I remember it from the night before. A tasty mix of people, high class aussie gastro pub fare and chalk board specials.

9:15 pm

Lenin Lennon are playing their first show for 18 months and a lot of people seem very excited for that. They scream into the mic for a bit and appear to forget how to play a song at one point. This is what music is about people! I also have a chat with the Pillow Pro’ers, can’t wait for their set tomorrow night at the Union!  I make the fateful error of telling them that I missed seeing them multiple times in the past. I don’t think it goes across well, but they are really lovely so hopefully they forgive me if I make it in time tomorrow.

10: 30 pm

By the time Naked starts I’m sweating like a Big Kev. It’s an absolute stinker of a night and the boys play such a hot set that my sweaty pits are showing no signs of slowing down. I get a massive shout out from the LADS and awkwardly wave my hand at the crowd and let them know I’m up for a chat and will sell them a record.

11:15 pm

I just sold 7 records which might not sound a lot to you music industry types but it’s a lot in the scheme of the tour so far. It’s actually the most. So cop that. We end up being pretty rock and roll back at the Lenin Lennon’s Whitney Houston’s Crypt house and we are having a couple of cold tinnies and some joints early in the morning. This is fuckin living, and don’t you dare to try and stop us. I go home because my head is spinning from all of the rock and roll, sweat and drugs.

Sydney version 1.0 at the Marly Bar: 5 out of 5 rockdogs – could not have got more rock if we tried. At one point it was getting so out of hand I thought Jordy was going to purposefully and impractically rearrange the van. Fortunately he didn’t.

Day 8 – Sydney is on an Ultralight Beam

11:30 am

My throat stinks of last night’s VBs and Bond Street Gold’s. I’ve never felt quite as alone as I do this morning, soaked in urine with my housemate’s cat licking my toes so lightly we could be lovers. Images of Paul Walker race through my head. Is this who I have become? Fast and the Furious 7 is playing on my television, I have vague memories of queuing up all 7 films before I went to sleep last night…What time was it?! Shit!!! The boys! The band! I scramble out to the microwave, my only source of time. Where the fuck is my phone? Not to worry, it’s 11:30am. Better chuck that sickie at work, it’s time to turn the volume to 11 and tackle another day on the job with Naked.

12:30 pm

I find the boys in a similarly limber state and before we know it we are off towards the great Pacific Ocean. I’m really hamming it up with em now, yeah boys Mackenzie’s Bay is the place to be, it’s really gonna be a great one! There’s a natural water slide! There’s heaps of dogs! Kieran’s eyes light up like a Christmas tree, Rob and Jordy are similarly enthused, like little elves. Here we are bounding down the rocks to another beautiful day but the waves are way too big for these Hobart kids so we kinda just end up rubbing our faces in the water at Tamarama.

2:00 pm

I completely forgot. We went to Gordon’s Bay – now that was a fucking good one. We ignored the sea lice warnings because tbh wtf is a sea lice anyway? We’re swimming and Rob disappears for a bit so I see an in to tell a funny story to Kieran and Jordy about how people drown at Gordon’s all the time! Then Rob reappears so it becomes a really funny story and almost a bit of a gotcha. ☹

3:30 pm

We have now been having a discussion for around 15 minutes about the most equitable way to split our 6 potato scallops between four. We could cut each scallop into four giving a grand total of 24 slices of scallop and each of us getting 6 healthy bits of scallop. But 24 is too close to 23 which is Rob’s favourite number but also his arch nemesis so we try and figure out a way to change it to 23.

In the end we just end up eating the 6 scallops and nobody really paid much attention to who got what but it was really fun and we are sitting in some nice cushy grass in front of a big old house in the eastern suburbs. Doesn’t get much more live than this.

8:30 pm

Woah! This night is cool. I just ran into a girl that I met through the popular dating app Tinder. It was a bit of an awkward exchange but I think that is probably because she was jealous that I was hanging out with my band mates. I smoked a cigarette and felt cool and my anxiety at seeing her was gone pretty soon thereafter.

After the gig Rob got called a hottie! It drew some awkward and nervous laughter but there was not any further rock dogging to be had there. It’s always nice to receive compliments like that though so I’m sure Rob was really chuffed.

12:00 am

I have to leave the gig and try and find my way home now.

Anyways. Pretty pumped for the road trip to Canberra. I am really looking forward to the seat of power and really want to see Lenore Taylor and/or David Marr and/or Cory Bernardi.

Sydney version 2.0: 5 out of 5 rockdogs – I completely forgot that Rob’s dad turned up to the gig! Apparently he never comes to see the Nakeds in Hobart so that’s pretty rock of his dad. Good work Mr Fisher.

 

Day 9 – Canned bears ahh?

11:15 am

We are in the juicy van, on the way to our nation’s capital. The seat of power! There’s a really noticeable buzz amongst the Nakeds and I’m pretty sure it’s because we are all still riding high from the reception Kieran got from the crowd last night when he mentioned Insiders and the fact that he met Mike Bowers. For those of you who don’t know Mike Bowers does the segment on Insiders called Talking Pictures. He is a political photographer predominantly for the Guardian and seems like an all-around top bloke. Some legends in the crowd last night realised that and made a brief woo.

11:30

The highway to Canberra is a desolate wasteland. Wait, I take that back, it starts to look pretty cool once we are out of Sydney, some nice eucalypts and the occasional rolling hill. Oh wait, what the fuck! A fucking windfarm. How hideous. We all collectively vomit and spend 30 minutes cleaning out the van and trying to exhale as much renewable energy as possible.

Those windfarms really hit us hard so we’ve pulled over to take another breather.

2:30 pm

The funniest thing just happened!

If some of this sounds like I’m taking the piss and you don’t believe me then please just believe that this one thing happened and it was seriously warped. Really funny times.

A 12 year old girl just offered Kieran some completely unsolicited advice on his health. We had stopped to have a quick cigarette and coffee, maybe even a vita weat and some avocado and Kieran wandered off a little way as he usually does before turning back to us and saying, “I wish I could have a cigarette!” From the passenger seat of her parked car, this girl turns to Kieran and with a voice barely above a whisper says, “don’t smoke you’ll die.” I honestly don’t know where her parents were but they’ve really drummed a fascist anti-smoking regime into the mind of that poor girl. She probably doesn’t realise that she’s going to die as well, but it sounds like she’d maybe make a good doctor.

3:30pm

Kieran has just confirmed that his Aunty played a character called John in a movie directed by Noah Baumbach. He thinks it was Mistress America and that John was one of the main characters. I haven’t seen the movie so can’t really question Kieran any further but I have a feeling it’s a gotcha. Feel free to leave a comment below if you can confirm or deny whether Kieran’s aunty plays a character called John in Mistress America.

9:30 pm

Canberra ended with a tremendous bang. For anyone who hasn’t been they have really amazing bus shelters and a real great 70s vibe goin through the burbs which quickly degenerates into a pretty vanilla university student urine soaked town. The Phoenix sounded bloody good though and the boys met a true idol of theirs, THAT bloke from TV Colours. He signed a copy of the Monthly. Not just the cover. Literally every page of the Monthly. From the contents to the back cover. It was really nice of him and kind of awkward at the same time but I think we were all friends by the end of the night. True to form the guys rocked the casbah and Kieran even made a few jokes about Canberra.

Kieran: Canned bear a? – [we’re all vegans, but we’ve decided to start a new merch venture and invest in canned wild meat, we’re thinking of selling Canned Bear, ah? .]  ‘ah’ as in , y’see?

Crowd: [largely dumbfounded but some offended silence]

Kieran: We just played in Sydney and they were pretty wild, but not as wild as here.

Crowd: [generally offended silence, a few people laugh and about 6 people exit the bar in protest, someone mutters “aren’t you from Hobart?”]

12:00 am – 4:00 am

A couple of events after the show left me feeling conflicted about Canberra. Firstly, some complete dickhead started talking to us about how he just had sex with an ugly girl in an alleyway. He was complete sludge. SPOILER ALERT part of the reason Massive Cock was written might be that guy.

Secondly, we reached peak tour for a couple of hours when we got back to our friend Kieran’s place (no I knowwwwww what you’re all thinking, not Kieran Sullivan! Another Kieran!). For those of you that aren’t really big on rocking, peak tour is when you reach a point where your brains are kind of fried and think that jokes that make no sense are hilarious; also Powderfinger becomes the best band in the world.

Being on peak tour this night is like being on the set of Rage in the late 90s. I’m so proud to have been involved. It was really the Everest of tour moments and I wish more people could have been there soaking up the rays of good times that soaked us all like a super soaker won during a Cheez TV giveaway.  There is a recording on Kieran’s phone of every song that got sung but here is a rough track list. All acoustic cover versions.

Champagne Supernova

Wonderwall

Black Fingernails, Red Wine

These Days

My Happiness

Funky Monks

Under The Bridge

Canberra: 5 out of 5 rockdogs – we reached peak tour – I felt like Sherpa Tenzing.

Saying goodbye to the guys is like losing my appendix. It really hurts and I have a scar that will last forever but in a good way. It’s 7am and I’m on a Murrays bus really hungover.

After a couple of valiums I am back home, I don’t really know how, so I flop onto my mattress.

All I have to say now is that Naked deserve significantly more recognition than they have currently received but they were named “Triple J Unearthed artist to watch” and that’s a step in the recognition direction.  They’ve also been played on Triple J which means that Naked is one step closer to their dreams of being aussie pop punk starlets. Go Naked good luck on the pitchfork review.

Alex Romano graduated from the University of Queensland with a Bachelor of Arts/Law. He lives in Sydney and works as a solicitor. He never wears a suit to work.

Pink Quartz is available now through Tenth Court.

Oh also we got sent this video from Kieran – if you were wondering if they were joking about the Powerderfinger.

 

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Naked Tour Diary (Part 2)

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Hobart band Naked went on tour in February, with their buddy Alex Romano along for the ride! Yesterday we brought you part one: the shocking beginning, tomorrow: the thrilling conclusion. Today though it’s The Middle Bit! Ft: Australia’s second greatest city (Newcastle), Kanye West and the opposite of Reggae.

 

Day 3 – Jammin Part 1

By Alex Romano

Waking up was fun. Lennox Head was even better than advertised with a couple of absolutely jammin locals camping on the headland next to us! They really blazed it up and after the fourth remix of Bob Marley’s Jammin we had became fast friends. Not! More like fast asleep friends! When we woke up they’d gone.

6:15 am

With our brothers in arms gone, we mulled on our night of ‘pretty good but not great’ sleep.

It’s really early so I can’t believe that we are meandering to the top of the headland because it’s actually still 6:15 am.  What else are we going to do? Oh well. Worse things have been happened I guess but the headland actually had a worse view than where we camped, but fortunately we got to see a number of bush turkeys in the bushes. I’m not sure if they are native to Australia…Probably introduced from Polynesia like the Dingos. I just thought of a great band name, the Introduced Dingos. If the Native Cats can be a band name then surely the Introduced Dingos could garner a similar level of hype. I’ll run it past the boys when I get the chance. Also I really got the hang of the walk by the end, think I am prepared to start taking regular morning constitutionals.

6:40 am

As we descended from the headland I realised why those jammers had left so early. A couple of Ballina Shire council men were having a sniff and a poke around our Juicy van. Those Jammin’ bastards might have tipped them off about us! Nah bro that’s just the weeds talking to you… but I can see them…high as fucking kites on their third J-bar of the day. They’re already deep into the tasty flavouring of a box of pizza shapes. Laughing their fuckin asses off as they say “there is no such thing as being too high.” Dunno what’s really happening in this paragraph, think I’m a bit out of it. Cheers

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8:00 am

We’ve pulled over at a Lucky7 convenience store and Rob’s gone for a walk to the bathroom. He’s toying with our emotions at this point, it’s been almost 30 minutes. We’re going to find him…wait…yep…there he is.

11:00 am

Yamba has got tofu and avocadoes in the Coles so now we’re setting up the stove on the beach and making an absolutely ripper brekky. I feel like a salty sea dog after the swim but I keep that to myself.

11:45 am

This part of the trip I will tentatively title “Love Lockdown” because we are listening to Kanye West’s album Love Lockdown in the order which Jordy knows it. It certainly doesn’t flow as nicely as the original Kanye curated version but Say You Will into Robocop into Amazing was pretty sweet nonetheless. Good work Jordy’s itunes. It’s also given me a moment to pause and reflect on the subjective nature of the interpretation of albums. Like, imagine if you made an album that automatically rearranged itself everytime a person bought it. That way everybody’s interpretation of it would be different and influenced by the amount of people that had purchased it, it would be influenced by every individual purchase. But like, imagine if it was still something you could connect with but on a different emotional level on each new listen. Like in one way it is a really sad breakup album, but in another way it is a coming of age story, or in another way it is a really vivid re-telling of 1990s Australia. I think this will be the first record of the Introduced Dingos and I’ll call it, Commercial Failure but it would be an ironic name because it would be a commercial success.

Last night’s weed is really hanging around

Jordy and Kieran tell me that rock and roll is a lot less about cocaine and Keith Richard’s penis than it is about expertly packing a vehicle and maintaining a dossier of all relevant interviews, money transactions and other important items. The car is packed to perfection and we are all really comfortable and sober and having a great time playing games like where you come up with band names using multiple band names.

Names of bands that should be bands

Millencollinhay

PattiSmithStreetBandofHorsesintheSkyhooks

Frank Ocean Party

Eddy Current Suppression Ringo Starr

Five….For fighting

Backstreet Boys II Men

Alan Jonestown Massacre

Alanis Morrissetey

1:20 pm

That game really took it’s time and now we are at Coffs Harbour airport where I have to leave everyone. Fingers crossed they make it to Newcastle and we can continue to rock out in Sydney and Canberra.

Day 4 – I’m back in Sydney

I gave the boys some tips of places to see, it included Valla Beach. Hoping it all goes well for them! For breakfast this morning I ate a piece of toast with vegemite and listened to Pink Quartz, it actually was really good and I’m shocked Pitchfork hasn’t reviewed the record yet. But now I’m listening to Kanye’s record, it’s also pretty good and Pitchfork has reviewed and given it a 9 which is a pretty massive call if you ask me. Like, where are your priorities Pitchfork? They are basically the Marina Abramovic of the music “journalism” world, get big and then forget about the little guys hey.

Day 5 – Nakeds in Newcastle, Alex in Sydney

The Nakeds are in Newcastle tonight. I hope it’s better attended than their previous gig at the Croatian club. I believe they had one payer last time they were in Newy but I’ve got a good feeling about this one.

I listened to the record a couple more times today and it is a real grower! Think about Death is pretty awesome but now my co-workers think I’m depressed. I’m not that much!

Day 6 – Wollongong was shit but Naked played well

Ron has been sending me texts and gifs all night so I assume the bar has been a little bit quiet. Maybe they have made heaps of friends in the gong though.

Rob has just mentioned that there was an old fella jamming away in a Bob Marley shirt. What is it with Australians and Rasta culture!! Two peas in a pod ay man we should just move Australia to the Caribbean!

Apparently the bloke is not quite sure why he’s just paid 10 bucks to see a band called Naked. He thought they were reggae but they are actually close to the opposite of reggae.

Woollongong: 1 out of 5 rockdogs – I wasn’t at the show and Kieran said to me that it was shit but the band played well. That’s all you really need though I guess if you’re really about “the music.”  Jordy also turned away a few people who couldn’t be bothered to pay 5 bucks. It’s fair enough I think, like wtf if you aren’t gonna pay five bucks to see some aussie have a go then go and have your Victoria Bitter with jatz and spring onion dip somewhere else. There’s actually a bar in Sydney that sells that to people for something like 8 bucks. Shove your irony up your arse.

Pink Quartz is available now through Tenth Court.

Alex Romano graduated from the University of Queensland with a Bachelor of Arts/Law. He lives in Sydney and works as a solicitor. He never wears a suit to work.

Part 3 (Naked storm our nation’s capital, tour takes a horror movie twist when these poor sweet boys stumble upon A WIND FARM)

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LISTEN: Bilby – Botanicals LP

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Bilby is the musical alias of Sydney artist and self-proclaimed emo-rap prince Harry Moxham, whose latest album, Botanicals, has just been released via Yes Rave.

Botanicals is a refreshing take on Australian hip hop, combining the lazy guitar of early Real Estate or Canberra’s Fossil Rabbit with sleek vocal hooks, trap beats, and infectious raps delivered with an adolescent exuberance not dissimilar from Yes Rave label founder Simo Soo.

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The understated execution and casual local references give it an authenticity absent from a lot of modern hip hop. Lyrically Moxham glides from poignant social commentary (“He wouldn’t shake my hand because I’m wearing pink, but you wish he could think as good as he can drink”) to jokey, endearing couplets (“Catch me Sideshow Bobbing with a rake. Catch me Apple bobbing with your date”). He tackles misogyny, bigotry, and the everyday pressures faced by young people today. All with a playful nonchalance that feels nothing if not honest.

The perfect soundtrack to be bumping this summer. Grab Botanicals as a ‘name your price’ download from the Yes Rave bandcamp store here.

Website / Facebook / Soundcloud

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LISTEN: Den – ‘Current Riser’

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I like Sydney band Den’s first single ‘Poltergeist’ a lot – I don’t wanna get into the whole Cotal Tontrol thing but please everyone feel free to continue to make things that sound something like my favourite band of all time, thanks. What really put me off about ‘Poltergeist’ was the film clip, which is maybe unfair, but you get to see a lot of self-serious angry boys tryna be unsettling and it all starts to grind you down.  Still, that song sounded COOL and that bitey, gripping lead guitar line could stand up pretty good next to anyone you care to compare them to.

‘Current Riser’ is definitely more fun – I mean maybe the band are dead serious with that pop metal guitar and spoopy effects, but either way, they’re funny. And tough and exciting and it still get you all revved up. The vocals keep everything anchored firmly in post-punk territory, driving a straight thick line through the song to the end. Like ‘Poltergeist’, this is the sound of an outward-facing male anxiety. A fear that makes you aggressive rather than forcing you to look inward. But with ‘Current Riser’ DEN turn this into something tense, tight and frantic.

‘Poltergeist’ and ‘Current Riser’ with both be on Den’s EP, out November 11 on Rice in Nice.

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INTRODUCING: Okin Osan

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Okin Osan is a new band fronted by Sydney-based Rose Chan, sporting a hyperactive, grungy take on surf rock with a kind of 60s Japanese twist. She’s supported names like Jeremy Neale and Empat Lima, and if you know those artists, you’ve got an idea of the off-kilter kind of alternative pop-rock you’re in for. Rose also happens to be the sister of electro-pop mover-n-shaker Rainbow Chan.

Rose doesn’t take much inspiration from her sister’s already considerable back catalogue, instead focusing on carving a new vibe full of fuzzy chord progressions along with razor sharp riffs and vocal melodies. Rose clearly has a deep affection for the period of mid-1900s western dance-hall optimism, but digging deeper into the demos on her Soundcloud also shows her leaning towards the grungy angst of the ’90s.

Okin Osan’s debut single ‘You Tell, I’ll Listen’ is a strong starting point. It’s got that lonesome, sun-soaked delivery of something like Martha and the Muffins’ ‘Echo Beach’, but is a little more rough around the edges in a youthful, carefree way. It’s short but upfront, confident, and full of ideas that are begging to be expanded on.

Okin Osan’s debut EP will be out digitally and on tape via Healthy Tapes come November 10

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LISTEN: Unity Floors ‘Life Admin’ LP

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Whether they’re trying to or not, on Life Admin Sydney’s Unity Floors ask a lot of questions. Like, is there still place for two normal nice guys in Australian music? Obviously in most genres and spaces, men still take up most of the room – but in alternate music media, we know girls are the ones doing the exciting stuff in pop and punk and techno and rock and roll. So what about these two guys bemused by girls and their designer clothes and their yoga on their lunch breaks, who still think moving to Melbourne might be the answer to all their problems. What about these two white dudes probably closer to thirty than twenty, playing drums and guitar and making sweet garage pop music.

What space do these men take up in music right now? Does anyone care? What’s worth talking about at the moment? With Restless The Ocean Party have made something untouchably beautiful, introspective and sensitive and political. They’re trying hard to earn their voices. Then there’s party-rock boy bands who play the sell-out tours and keep Weed Culture hanging around in music like a stain. In Brisbane, and probably other places, white boys who play guitar but wish they were hip hop stars make samples and heavy techno or blunt wild-eyed dumb punk music. Unity Floors aren’t really like any of this. They’re earnest and naive in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way, with those jaunty fuzzy guitars that could be from anywhere between 1991 and now.

It’s a fun record, a domestic record to do the chores and ride the bus to. And yeah ‘Give and Take’ sounds like ‘Simple Feelings’ by Twerps but you know it wasn’t on purpose and they probably aren’t sitting around obsessively listening to Range Anxiety enough to pick it up. Just unlucky for them that Australian music writers definitely are.

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Maybe we’ll look back on Life Admin as the last of its kind. Or maybe garage rock for boys is here to stay and I’m talking out of my arse. But listening to this record made me feel nostalgic for something I’ve always loved but only just realised had slipped away, and it’s nice to remember it at least one more time.

 

Life Admin is out on Pop Frenzy now. Unity Floors also do a great live show, which you can catch in Sydney, Melbourne or Hobart on their upcoming tour:

Hobart – The Brisbane hotel, Satuday October 8
Melbourne – The Old Bar, Saturday October 22
Sydney – Chippendale Hotel, Friday October 28

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WATCH: Shady Nasty – ‘Upwardsbound’

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shady nasty

“NEVER WILL I EVER KNOW” goes the cry on Shady Nasty’s hellfire post-punk debut single, ‘Upwardsbound’.

You’ll scream it into singer Kevin Stathis’ face sometime soon I reckon, mutual spit flying across the space between band and audience. Reminds me of going through my La Dispute phase, catching them play an under 18s show at Irene’s Warehouse in 2010, where 16 year olds slammed into each other like amateur wrestlers, basking in the cacophony of angst and noise and Jordan Dreyer’s hyper-poeticised versions of heartbreak.

This isn’t to compare those two bands on any musical level though – Shady Nasty are cut from a wholly different cloth. ‘Upwardsbound’ is scattershot in all the different things it tries to achieve, but it succeeds in every area. Stathis’ wry, knowing vocal delivery; that pin-prick guitar, ascending over the verses. It all converges in a stadium-sized tremolo freak out, over which Stathis cries “but I can’t not feel that I’m sick with envy”. While the sounds Shady Nasty are bringing through aren’t untapped, their delivery is something damn original.

The video going along with ‘Upwardsbound’ has its own sinister edge, but somehow it achieves this with fruit abuse, dry ice, and some liberal head wobble. The band tries to keep up appearances in a cute domestic setting, but the instrumentation makes it sound like the world is ending outside.

As someone comments on ‘Upwardsbound’ on the group’s Facebook page: “there’s tunes, and there’s top notch ridgey didge grungey inner west makeyathink classic tunes”.

Check out the video below, directed by Anna Philips and Sam Brumby.

Facebook / Soundcloud

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