Naked Tour Diary (Part 2)

Hobart band Naked went on tour in February, with their buddy Alex Romano along for the ride! Yesterday we brought you part one: the shocking beginning, tomorrow: the thrilling conclusion. Today though it’s The Middle Bit! Ft: Australia’s second greatest city (Newcastle), Kanye West and the opposite of Reggae.

Day 3 – Jammin Part 1

By Alex Romano

Waking up was fun. Lennox Head was even better than advertised with a couple of absolutely jammin locals camping on the headland next to us! They really blazed it up and after the fourth remix of Bob Marley’s Jammin we had became fast friends. Not! More like fast asleep friends! When we woke up they’d gone.

6:15 am

With our brothers in arms gone, we mulled on our night of ‘pretty good but not great’ sleep.

It’s really early so I can’t believe that we are meandering to the top of the headland because it’s actually still 6:15 am.  What else are we going to do? Oh well. Worse things have been happened I guess but the headland actually had a worse view than where we camped, but fortunately we got to see a number of bush turkeys in the bushes. I’m not sure if they are native to Australia…Probably introduced from Polynesia like the Dingos. I just thought of a great band name, the Introduced Dingos. If the Native Cats can be a band name then surely the Introduced Dingos could garner a similar level of hype. I’ll run it past the boys when I get the chance. Also I really got the hang of the walk by the end, think I am prepared to start taking regular morning constitutionals.

6:40 am

As we descended from the headland I realised why those jammers had left so early. A couple of Ballina Shire council men were having a sniff and a poke around our Juicy van. Those Jammin’ bastards might have tipped them off about us! Nah bro that’s just the weeds talking to you… but I can see them…high as fucking kites on their third J-bar of the day. They’re already deep into the tasty flavouring of a box of pizza shapes. Laughing their fuckin asses off as they say “there is no such thing as being too high.” Dunno what’s really happening in this paragraph, think I’m a bit out of it. Cheers

8:00 am

We’ve pulled over at a Lucky7 convenience store and Rob’s gone for a walk to the bathroom. He’s toying with our emotions at this point, it’s been almost 30 minutes. We’re going to find him…wait…yep…there he is.

11:00 am

Yamba has got tofu and avocadoes in the Coles so now we’re setting up the stove on the beach and making an absolutely ripper brekky. I feel like a salty sea dog after the swim but I keep that to myself.

11:45 am

This part of the trip I will tentatively title “Love Lockdown” because we are listening to Kanye West’s album Love Lockdown in the order which Jordy knows it. It certainly doesn’t flow as nicely as the original Kanye curated version but Say You Will into Robocop into Amazing was pretty sweet nonetheless. Good work Jordy’s itunes. It’s also given me a moment to pause and reflect on the subjective nature of the interpretation of albums. Like, imagine if you made an album that automatically rearranged itself everytime a person bought it. That way everybody’s interpretation of it would be different and influenced by the amount of people that had purchased it, it would be influenced by every individual purchase. But like, imagine if it was still something you could connect with but on a different emotional level on each new listen. Like in one way it is a really sad breakup album, but in another way it is a coming of age story, or in another way it is a really vivid re-telling of 1990s Australia. I think this will be the first record of the Introduced Dingos and I’ll call it, Commercial Failure but it would be an ironic name because it would be a commercial success.

Last night’s weed is really hanging around

Jordy and Kieran tell me that rock and roll is a lot less about cocaine and Keith Richard’s penis than it is about expertly packing a vehicle and maintaining a dossier of all relevant interviews, money transactions and other important items. The car is packed to perfection and we are all really comfortable and sober and having a great time playing games like where you come up with band names using multiple band names.

Names of bands that should be bands

Millencollinhay

PattiSmithStreetBandofHorsesintheSkyhooks

Frank Ocean Party

Eddy Current Suppression Ringo Starr

Five….For fighting

Backstreet Boys II Men

Alan Jonestown Massacre

Alanis Morrissetey

1:20 pm

That game really took it’s time and now we are at Coffs Harbour airport where I have to leave everyone. Fingers crossed they make it to Newcastle and we can continue to rock out in Sydney and Canberra.

Day 4 – I’m back in Sydney

I gave the boys some tips of places to see, it included Valla Beach. Hoping it all goes well for them! For breakfast this morning I ate a piece of toast with vegemite and listened to Pink Quartz, it actually was really good and I’m shocked Pitchfork hasn’t reviewed the record yet. But now I’m listening to Kanye’s record, it’s also pretty good and Pitchfork has reviewed and given it a 9 which is a pretty massive call if you ask me. Like, where are your priorities Pitchfork? They are basically the Marina Abramovic of the music “journalism” world, get big and then forget about the little guys hey.

Day 5 – Nakeds in Newcastle, Alex in Sydney

The Nakeds are in Newcastle tonight. I hope it’s better attended than their previous gig at the Croatian club. I believe they had one payer last time they were in Newy but I’ve got a good feeling about this one.

I listened to the record a couple more times today and it is a real grower! Think about Death is pretty awesome but now my co-workers think I’m depressed. I’m not that much!

Day 6 – Wollongong was shit but Naked played well

Ron has been sending me texts and gifs all night so I assume the bar has been a little bit quiet. Maybe they have made heaps of friends in the gong though.

Rob has just mentioned that there was an old fella jamming away in a Bob Marley shirt. What is it with Australians and Rasta culture!! Two peas in a pod ay man we should just move Australia to the Caribbean!

Apparently the bloke is not quite sure why he’s just paid 10 bucks to see a band called Naked. He thought they were reggae but they are actually close to the opposite of reggae.

Woollongong: 1 out of 5 rockdogs – I wasn’t at the show and Kieran said to me that it was shit but the band played well. That’s all you really need though I guess if you’re really about “the music.”  Jordy also turned away a few people who couldn’t be bothered to pay 5 bucks. It’s fair enough I think, like wtf if you aren’t gonna pay five bucks to see some aussie have a go then go and have your Victoria Bitter with jatz and spring onion dip somewhere else. There’s actually a bar in Sydney that sells that to people for something like 8 bucks. Shove your irony up your arse.

Pink Quartz is available now through Tenth Court.

Alex Romano graduated from the University of Queensland with a Bachelor of Arts/Law. He lives in Sydney and works as a solicitor. He never wears a suit to work.

Part 3 (Naked storm our nation’s capital, tour takes a horror movie twist when these poor sweet boys stumble upon A WIND FARM)