Oh Faker… what the hell were you thinking when whichever God forsaken director presented you with the concept for this film clip?
Here’s a breakdown of Faker’s brand new filmclip, second by second:
00:00 – Oh, an electrocardiograph… how LITERAL!
00:04 – it’s our first look at the new Faker, because front man Nathan Hudson has made twenty three members of the band redundant in the ten years they’ve been around. Also, what’s with the O Brother Where Art Thou? get-up? Plus they’re in a white room with a green stripe… O-kay…
00:16 – after numerous frames of the band sporting stupid facial expressions, we get our first glipse of a girl decked out in fluoro nursewear. Oh crap, what’s the rest of this clip got in store for us if they’re bringing out fluoro-clad girls? FLUORO for christ’s sake…
00:23 – Phil, or Stefan, whichever guitarist you are… do you think you’re in Red Riders?
00:35 – we’re hitting the chorus people, get ready for the sing-along and ooh ahh ahhs
00:37 – the fluoro-clad girl-Faker equivalent have drips with fluoro colour in them? Huh?? If you’ve made it this far, could somebody please tell me what the concept for this video is?
00:50 – we’ve hit the chorus – “this heart attack… I gotta get away, not coming back.” I know how you feel dude.
01:13 – OMFG! What’s with that chick’s makeup?
01:17 – Oooooooooooooh! Get angry Nathan.
01:29 – oh no, it’s a mime-off between Faker and girl Faker! I thought Marcel Marceau was taking that artform to the grave?
01:33 – at least this girl is putting some energy into her performance.
01:47 – probably should have mentioned this earlier, but Paul Berryman, decked out in all black and a skinny tie, really looks like he belongs the behind the drums for an emo band…
02:00 – is anyone winning this mime-off, or is the audience the loser amongst it all?
02:30 – with limbs flailing and competing members getting up close and personal, really nothing much is happening. You haven’t missed anything up until this point. And here comes the bridge…
02:43 – rapid-fire frame changes, showing how girl Faker is perhaps the alter-ego of original Faker? So inside every boy is there a girl? And inside every man wearing braces, there’s a girl wearing fluoro waiting to be freed from the eternal shackles of introversion? Deep man, so deep…
02:53 – “I got your back. But you don’t got mine.” Hey Nathan, I’m sure you’re upset man, and I can see it in that arm-thrusting of yours, but that doesn’t excuse poor grammar.
03:03 – we’re at the climax of the mime-off… strap yourself in!
03:38 – girl Faker have decided to free themselves from their fluoro drips and throw it in the air. Yay, we’re all fucking happy little munchkins. I think they think they’re at Parklife. Look at them dance!
03:52 – it’s over…. what the hell was that all about??? What’s any of that mindless meandering got to do with a heart attack? I want 3:52 of my life back*.
– quote courtesy of You Know Who from a magazine…